Tuesday, July 26, 2005


What's wrong with expectation? Mankind survives on this sole word of 'expectation'. We expect to be happy in the future (ignoring the present of course), we expect to earn a great deal of money, we expect to travel around the world and many many more. We not only expect something out of ourselves but expect something from others also. But most people forget that some others are also expecting something from them and I feel here is the weakest link for relationships.

Say, you(A) are close to someone(B) and you expect something out of them. But, they dont meet your expectation not once but many times over a period of time. Then, you lower your expectation and still 'B' doesnt meet yours. This cycle would continue till you end up with little expectation from 'B'. 'B' brags on and on with his/her own stories least bothered about what 'A' is feeling/thinking amd whats more, shrugs off whatever 'A' is saying. At this particular point of time, you(A) really feel that the relationship is not worth the time, effort and resources. Then there are other people in your life who go great lengths at making you happy, make you feel that you have been with them for years and yet you don't give the required credit. They are excited about meeting you, talking to you or for that matter, just spend some time with you and yet we tend to ignore.
The problem seems to be not with 'B' fundamentally, but with 'A'. 'A' has simply not allocated the right kind of effort towards the right kind of people.'B'is some other person who is interested in something else than 'A' seems to think...a classic case of misunderstanding the extent and depth of a relationship. Well, to say the least, when 'A' is not clear of his priorities, his relationships...does he really have the right to expect something out of somebody? Can't he just take a step back and look at the various relationships he has and allocate the right(let me say, optimum) effort to the right kind of people? Is 'A' looking only at part of the conversation and not the total (or the essence of) communication between him/herself and 'B' and jumping to some kind of conclusion about expectations and the outcomes or is it something else?

Haven't we all gone through this? We can place ourselves at places 'A' as well as 'B' because they are literally two sides of same coin. Can we just take a step back and look at everything else afresh again??


Anonymous said...

Well composed, I can relate very myself pretty well to A or B.
Good one again keep them comming..
Love to come back to you blog.

Krsnadas said...

Very well composed, I think your case is a classic case of exploitation and not expectation.

You might ask what's the difference between both, I feel as long as you are thinking 'My' and 'I' and expect friends, that's just exploitation, though it sounds very harsh in its meaning.And expectation is when you expect people to accomplish but they fail to perform because of their lack of sincerity or any other reason.

I liked how you analyzed it.If we go according to what you said, then I fear we will be left with too few or none, because unless there is change in our mindset, as you rightly said, but in a positive way and not in choosing according to our plans and desires.

Will come back to your blog again.


sheela said...

If you can just see I feel in a relationship we have expectations and we should treasure what we have and we should not ignore or take things for granted with anyone be it parents be it sister or brother ,girlfriend or wife who so ever it might be when we take there consent in doing things when they are involved and when we do at least 10% what ever we could from both the sides the relationship will last for long .And it is not that B does not have expectations everyone on earth has their own way to analyze things . Hope you agree with me