Monday, October 17, 2005


Why does man relish vanity?? This question has been troubling me for sometime. A feeling of excessive pride in oneself, self-importance imposed on self and a craving to be recognised by one and all present around is something each one of us have percieved and felt too. I am surprised at situations where people work themselves to be the center of a conversation or an issue. Some people even go to the extent of holding back knowledge impressing(or is it depressing?)upon others implicitly that they are important, while others make it very explicit.

As a writer, I take pride in writing this this vanity? How do you differentiate confidence and self-belief and vanity and excessive pride? Each one of us wants to be appreciated for the work we have done - however meagre or big. Does man really need appreciation from others to sustain himself and in case he doesnt get the expected, does he really have to go extents to boast about himself? How often have we come across people who put up an impression of a be-all and know-all? How often have we come across people who are self-centered and any conversation other than him/her is utter nonsense? How often have we come across people who can fake at will and convince you whatever they say is the truth? and How often have we come across people who actually make people listen how important they are and why we should strive to become like them, although that would be difficult!! Questions and questions galore, but each one of us know and can relate to each of these situations, as a culprit or as a victim.

Now to the question of why man thinks he is the center of the universe or rather the microcosm in which he is present? One reason is out of purely psychological reasons - low self-esteem. Although every other reason boils down to this, there might be a variety of experiences throughout a person's life which might have forced them to take this route. The other plausible reason might be that people take life too seriously and end up being self-centered and therefore the vanity factor comes in...although the reasons by themselves don't seem to convince the author.

How do we get out of this disease of vanity which seems to affect even the best of people? Humor might be one but then can everyone humor themselves? The other person might think that he is making a fool of himself...again the vanity cycle?!! Even people who think that they don't care what people think about them also come under this umbrella of vanity since they too want others to recognise them as people who think they don't care about others - got my point?? I am in need of some answers as urs truly too, at some point or other has been a victim of this deadly disease called Vanity.


Anonymous said...

Column: Media, role models teach us how to label others who are different
Back when "party" meant cake, Mylar balloons and having the back room of Pizza Hut to ourselves, I learned a simple lesson.
Definetely a winning blog! the creator must be a winner too... I wish someone would give me some tips on my sites so I could make them great like this.
Your words are powerful and you use them wisely, thank you.

~ good job / keep it up!

Manasa said...

Vanity comes from self-pride and sometimes (as you cited) from low self-esteem.

In a recent discussion I came upon an interesting line of thought. The person said that the difference between vanity and confidence is a thin line. One can observe if one crosses this line by being able to view ourselves through the eyes of another person.

Am sure it sounds a decent thing to do... but my question remains how often can a person, sailing high on the waves of vanity, realise that its time for that check?

Would like your views further expounded on this aspect. :)

Kiran said...

@anonymous - hey, thanx for the compliment and encouragement!!

@Manasa - Well, a person can find his true worth within his circle of family and close friends. So my answer would definitely be: You don't try to differentiate between Vanity and Confidence for the simple reason that it would be biased. Go back to your family and/or close friends - they will tell you whether it is vanity or self-confidence. However, there is no particular time to check, if your circle is true, you will be true to yourself

Anonymous said...

As u said very truly...low-esteem is one of the major reasons.I have met so many ppl who are attention-savvy...they wud do just anything to capture other's attention..the way they talk...their actions everything is done with a purpose. These are the kinda ppl who need to be re-assured everytime of their existence,which is quite irritating.Appreciation makes u do better things..but it shouldn't be the other way round...that u do things only to be appreicated..wat say??
Divi :-)

Kiran said...

Bang on Divi! and the problem doesnt end there. They would pester you to appreciate them, which is even worse. This doesnt answer my question but still becomes more complicated. How do u eventually handle these people or maybe sometimes ourselves?? Somehow, thinking through...I just feel that it is related to the 'ego' factor all the time and this concerns not only vanity but other negative human traits too!!

Anonymous said...

A very good and thought provoking blog...Have just read it. I don't deny that there are attention savvy people. But, what about the people who are in the intermediate zone? Not many of them want to capture the attention of everyone around them. Lot of the time, I am sure, the situation arises by miscommunication and misunderstanding. May be the so called intermediate zone people dont want themselves to be regarded as the dumb ones before the people they love, adore and care about, resulting in the so called vanity . I strongly believe that there is an equal share in this drama of the people who view it and of the people who act in it. A little understanding is what all they need. If the other person is clear in his/her communication, then the so called people suffering from low self esteem may not act in that way. Encouragement is the key to the continual of these traits, atleast in my view. Stop encouraging by letting them know that no matter what they'll be the loved ones...u'll definitly stop this vanity fair!! Well anyway, a good one to discuss and argue about...Keep it up!