Lift Conversations?!

Well, the title in itself is an oxymoron. Invariably, there are no talks or conversations while in the Lift. Innumerable number of trips in the Lift have left me with a conclusion that there invariably is some treasure hidden somewhere in the Lift which people are looking for.
I was 10 years old when I first got into a lift which was in one of the offices my uncle once took me to. Lifts back then fascinated me. The whole idea that I need not exert any effort to move up 5 floors coupled with the curiosity for lifts back then was extremely wonderful. Lifts were not as common back then as they are nowadays and the rarity made it a thing to boast about with your friends.
Time passed and I encountered physics. With physics, the inevitable happened. Newton's laws and Acceralation due to gravity was awed. The effects of these on Lifts was even more fascinating - interesting problems emerged, and with almost every problem on lifts I used to imagine myself in the lift trying to solve that problem - did my weight increase or decrease,
is the lift moving with constant acceralation or constant velocity and the associated solutions. It was great fun solving them as well as served as an enthu factor for getting into lifts again and again.
As time progressed, lifts became more common (and with it, my vocabulary of calling it an Elevator :)). I then began to notice strange things happening. People in the lift almost never talked to each other unless they were closest of close friends. Whether it was claustrophobia or something else, I do not have an idea. People absolutely normal outside the elevator behaved strangely in the lift - staring at walls, looking at the celing, observing their shoes and rarely observing people around in the lift. A strange sense of silence prevails before the hustle-bustle of the floor begins again. I seriously couldn't (and still don't) understand as to what people look at. Are they trying to find some hidden treasure on the ceiling or between the walls? Are they trying to observe the formations of dust on their shoe and deduce 'The Dust Theory'? Are they looking at their watches continously and trying to calculate whether time slows down due to relative motion of the lift against the speed of light? I mean What???
And then there are categories in Elevators. Fast and Slow elevators - the slower the lift, the more tortous it is. Slower lifts are a bane on organisations (my previous organisation had one :)) and their people. People get frustrated waiting for these lifts at each of the floors only to be tortured much more in the 'Field of Silence' inside. As luck would have it, I was in the lift with the CIO of that particular organisation one day. Strange situation - I didnt know whether to smile, to talk, murmur - so what did I do? I stared at my watch for an awful loonnng time, spoke a hello, how are you? and looked hard at the ceiling for a virtual crack in it. He got off the next floor and I heaved a huge sigh of relief!! So much, for the slowness of the lift.
And then there are elevators with capacity of 8 persons or 16 persons - invariably during lunch time, you would find more people in the lift than on any given floor :) And god save you, if there is a power cut and no backup available for the lift. Or even worse, the lift gets jammed (experienced it twice). Given the modern world of steel covering and alloy covering, voices inside the lift do not reach outside - all that would be left would be prayers to God, if he can get a peep into a stuffed lift that is!!
Having said all the above, with skyscrapers shooting up in almost all parts of every city, lifts are a necessity rather than a luxury. Lifts have undergone a massive makeover - from typical iron-grills to metal doors and fancy gadgets. However, in my 14 years of experience in these lifts, people have never changed. They never talked inside lifts always looking for the seemingly invisible particles that would make their day. I hope one day, they do find it and prove that they were not wasting time inside these lifts in the 'Field of Silence'.

Cherished Conversations!!

This post has been pending since long. The initial draft was around 2 months ago...but then in the melee of situations, it has been delayed. Apologies.
There are moments in life when you pause and reflect, reflect on situations you want to live through again, given a chance. As mentioned in my previous posts, situations typically are filled with conversations - verbal and non-verbal. Although every conversation is important, there are some conversations which are very dear to your heart. It took me long walks in silence
and a lot of introspection to come up with five conversations which I would want to live through again, relive them irrespective of the situation. Quantifaction is a necessary evil because of some constraints (like space, time, my patience and well..your patience :))...so here we go, a post to cherish for myself (not necessarily in any order) -
1) Conversation with K at Andheri Railway station at around 9 in the night - We were chatting off to glory about family, career, friends etc etc in the midst of peak Mumbai traffic, unmindful of the frenzied atmosphere around. It was a talk interspersed with lot of noise around which included the innumerable local trains, vendors and the public. I guess we ended up talking for a couple of hours because by the time we came out for dinner - all restaurants were closing down for the day. We slept eating little dinner but having had the satisfaction of talking your heart out.
2) Conversation with D at Malgudi - Lunch - Now, this is some fun discussing it. We just didnt have any idea of the time or the people around. We went to Malgudi because I insisted on having a good Andhra meal and decent ambience. We went there in a very sober manner and the moment we started having a conversation over lunch, we started laughing - for just about everything and anything. The waiter gave us a surprised (or was it astonished??) look but we cared less. If people had objectively judged us, we were insane - it was just one laughing riot. It was a typical case where you talked everything and anything, content being immaterial but your stomach aches because you laughed your lungs out. We happened to meet many times after that
again, but never again was it so much fun, frolic and laughter.
3) Conversation with R, P and C at R's place - This happened way back in Engineering (way back..am I that old now??..yeah..it was kindaa 6 years back) when we were to do our first technical paper submission. 'I and R' and 'C and P' were to do a paper. We met at R's place and till 12 in the night, everything was going as per schedule - we were working very seriously on the paper. Then came the tragic mistake - C acccidentally fell asleep (This was inspite of paper presentation the next day). Very normal, we were very tired working throughout the day and it was but natural to fall asleep (I can't stop my laughter as I write this right now!!). But then P had different ideas - he took a pillow and a blanket, woke up C and asked him to sleep COMFORTABLY. Now this was it - I and R burst out into laughter and probably kept laughing throughout the night (we incidentally did not sleep through the night due to the presenation) because C got up (recovering from the sarcastic shock he got :D), went into the verandah and practised entire night - I and R laughed our lungs out - and whenever we happen to meet
(either of us), that incident pops out and again we burst into fits of laughter.
4) Conversations with C at lakeside - Now these are conversations where you meet the other person and even if silence prevails for the entire time, you can just walk away and feel that you have had the best conversation. Not sure whether it was the ambience of the lakeside (waterbodies usually tickle my philosophical bent :-)) or the person - conversations ranged
from the usual banter to very serious topics - but everytime you have a conversation, you feel better. Guess I would call this a cherished time than a cherished conversation as we had innumerable number of conversations, each one better than the previous one. The content of conversations ranged from daily mundane affairs to serious decision making and the fact that the pattern of thought was similar made these conversations all the more worthwhile.
5) Conversation with T, J and D at Pilani - Another laugh riot, this time at a place completely foreign to us. T was in 'form' and J was adding fuel to the fire. We had a silent dinner (and very little) and initially thought to spend some time together before we crash to sleep. What started as a banter of imitations of professors in our college led to humor par excellence. Each one of us were bursting with tears at the end of it, which was at 4 in the morning :)

As can be deduced, essentially almost all of these conversations are less about content and more about the relation, the sync (frequency match - language of P :)) and things you can relate - which makes each relation stronger and better. As someone said, people may go to different places, time may take them away from you but what remains are converstaions and memories that would remain for the rest of your lifetime - to bring a smile to your face whenever you are down, to make you laugh better when you are happy and make the journey of life as memorable as it can be!

Personality Conflict!!

Till Xth class, I guess noone would have had any dilemma as to his/her personality. As we age, we tend to have more and more choices about the subjects we choose, about the friends we have, about partners and various other important aspects of life. I specifically mention Xth class because till then we (or should I say 'I') did not have any choice about the subjects we chose - forget about other aspects like friends and partners.

Then came the period between Xth and graduation - mathematics or biology. I for one, did not have any doubt, for two reasons - one, I was terrible at drawing and sketching (which I came to know through my friends who took biology) and two, I liked mathematics - although must admit the love for the latter, especially the so-called glory of being called 'An Engineer' swept me away. Limited choices - two of them - was not that difficult to make this choice.

Then came Engineering - college, branch, friends, hangout places, games - multiple choices (now I understand the reason for Entrance exams having multiple choice questions - and choosing the best answer). Over four years, one common thread I observed was that for a given problem, there was only one given answer - analytically and mathematically. This was wonderful, only one answer to any given problem - a methodology which got ingrained, whether you completed Engineering by rote or by experiencing it.

Then came Management. Multiple scenarios, multiple solutions, multiple companies and multiple packages. Initial days of my management classes were a little too difficult for me to digest. Some claimed that Engineering was the ideal background for a MBA - How? I asked. I received no answer. I personally feel they are on either side of the horizon - one speaks of perfection (one answer to a given problem) and the other speaks of time (a good answer now is better than the best answer at a later time). Finance and Accounting they say, is akin to Engineering. To speak in MBA gyaan, to arrive at an optimal value, a company can use different accounting systems and financial policies. 'Optimal' is the key word - there is no perfection in Management - Management is about people, and are people perfect - they are only striving towards perfection (Am I?)

There you go - here I am with two degrees on opposite sides of the horizon, trying to derive the best value ('best' from Engineering and 'value' from MBA :-)) - Isn't there a personality conflict everyday in every situation??

P.S: At the start of the blog, I wanted to deal with the friends and partners angle too - that angle is waaayyyyyyyy tooo complex - they bring in so many impressions and thoughts with them - there might be no personality left, forget about the conflict :-). Last but not the least, had a taste of Banking - providing the 'best' to the customer and now Consulting - providing 'optimal' solution to your clients :D

Selfishness - A Matter of Perspective!!

Selfishness - one virtue that is inherent in all humanbeings. When I mean all, it includes greats like Gandhi, Mother Teresa etc. Every man (or woman) is selfish in his/her own way. However, how selfish and the reasons behind selfishness is what differentiates probably the bad, good and the great.
A question might arise that categorization of selfishness (into good, bad and the great) is absolute nonsense. Selfishness is something very emotional, it is not a market survey to be categorised - some might argue. However, my plain argument to that is if the highest forms of knowledge (encompassing description about the Supreme Power to the most emotional of thoughts), the Vedas - can be categorized into different volumes, based on the subject, depth and understanding, so can emotional matters like selfishness.
Keeping categorization aside for a moment, the question arises as to why people tend to be selfish. When I asked this question in various forms to friends of mine - I got one universal answer - though not necessarily in the same form - I want to be happy and hence I tend to be selfish. If selfishness is what it is usually portrayed to be, which is evil, then is being Happy a crime? As is the case with black or white - there is no little selfishness and extreme selfishness (and don't get me started on the gray area - a topic of total jibberish) - a person is selfish or he is not - and we see the case across, everyone is/was selfish at some point or another.
Interesting arguments arise out of daily life. I have faced the ire of my close friends in instances where I have been selfish - however, when I point out their selfishness at a different point of time and question them, I get seemingly baseless or escapist answers. This is common across organisations, family, friends and at every instance of daily life. What seems right to you, which can make you happy seems wrong to the other person and vice-versa - as I mentioned earlier, it is a matter of perspective again.
Great people like Mother Teresa and the Mahatma were selfish in their own way - very selfish - they wanted freedom for their country and liberation for their people respectively. I have used 'their' very deliberately - a word which distinguishes the bad/good from the great. The Greats use 'their' and 'our' as selfish motives while people like me use 'I' to keep myself happy. The worrying factor at present and probably in the future is the hedonistic feeling that is creeping in everyone's thought process - I live my life, I want to be happy, why should anyone care or be bothered - which actually affects others in a miserable manner. How we deal and differentiate between hedonism and what we term to be 'happy' is a question only the individual can answer, least of all others' perspectives.

The City of Mumbai - A year gone by dedicated to the 'City of Dreams'

I never ever thought 20 months was enough time to fall in love with a city. A city of dreams for many and a city of bread for many others. Every aspect of Mumbai, be it the cultural diversity or the magnanimous nature, the ever crowded trains or the never ending traffic, innumerable number of nature spots to hang out or the myriad pubs to suit the western culture, the never-say-die spirit or the city that never sleeps - these and many more make up for the wonderful city it is.
I had my initial apprehensions of Mumbai - a city where the underworld dwells, a city of open murders and thefts, a city where getting in and out of the local trains is akin to clearing a competitive exam and last but not the least, a city where every house is congested and fighting for space. For reasons unknown, I wanted to live in this city, atleast for some time. Although I had an oppurtunity to take up almost any job profile across South, I chose to move to Mumbai - where I had one relative and very few friends. What drew me here is still a mystery to me - probably the charm of living in Mumbai or the mystery associated with the never-say-die spirit - a decision I would cherish throughout my life.
Two things lead a person to cherish a place - One, you gained a lot in terms of exposure from that place and two, simply because you enjoyed thoroughly out there. I am sure there might be much bigger cities and with better amenities than Mumbai has, but to imbibe the culture of hardwork, street-smartness and helpful nature takes ages to seep in a society. In terms of exposure for a typical south-indian like me, it was just tremendous - in terms of financial smartness or the way you deal with different people, my bosses at my previous organisation, friends etc etc, I can go on and on. The peace you experience when you sit in Worli facing the sea face or the fun me and my colleagues had at Aksa beach, the failed attempts to enter a discotheque as a stag or on a Monday :) or the heavy bargaining for good books at Churchgate - I just transport myself mentally there when I think of such things.
The place where I stayed - my roommates - encountered different characters over this short period of my stay there - an extremely short-tempered guy (had great fun tickling his temper :)), an absolutely fun-lovin guy who sleeps only in the day and forgets that it was night that he was supposed to do that activity, a guy whose passion was singing and one more who used to chatter endlessly about everything and anything. There was one television and I dont remember even for once that we fought for the remote control (points to two things, one - noone was interested, two - our interests matched). There was a sense of immense trust in the financial calculations that one person's job was and there was immense miserliness on the other hand by the same set of people. All in all, a great set of people, all extremely knowledgeable - had sooper fun with them!!
It's been 25 days since I left the place and moved on to a different city - and how I wish this city was as good if not better than Mumbai. I havent seen much of this city, probably it is much better - but then Mumbai would remain as it always was 'A dream destination'.

The three 'ists' that define People!

After trudging through a couple of topics, not knowing where to end or how to end, eventually leaving them incomplete and unpublished, here I am writing about a topic inspired by a friend who set me thinking on this one.

In this cluttered world of extreme market segmentation, where every new attribute is broken up into different classes, taking a macro-view on people helps. The dictionary defines 'ist' as a person who follows a distinctive doctrine, theory, system or practice. I essentially feel that there are three kinds - Optimists, Pessimists and Realists.

Ask anyone in this world or for that matter yourself whether he/she is a pessimist? The answer, most if not all the time would be an overwhelming NO. They would rather classify themselves as 'realists', someone who know the ways of the world. We have different words for the same set of people - a slightly more optimistic term would be 'Pragmatists' while a pessimistic term would be a 'Cyncist'. How about each one of us? Different types of reactions for three different words - Optimist or a Realist, you feel good and termed as Pessimist or Cyncist, you rise to defend yourself staunchly.

Why do people react negatively when others associate them with slightly negative terms (does the term 'pessimist' or 'cynicist' connote a negative meaning is a totally different argument)? Hope is a very siginificant part of anyone's personality. Hope denotes Optimistic view of the future. Optimism correlates very strongly with self-esteem and psychological well-being and hence by corollary, we expect all people in the world to be Optimists. However, the number of studies that have been done on Pessimism are far more in number than those done on Optimism. Does that serve as any indicator to how most people think?

How about being called a 'Realistic' personality? A feel good factor probably - knowing the perfect balance between what is optimism and pessimism! But probably that is the way we should function. In psychological terms, Optimism and Pessimism are not opposites. Having more of one thing does not mean you have less of another. The factors that reduce one do not necessarily increase another. The dilemma/conundrum as is the case with every human tendency is the balance of the two, to achieve harmony in a personality - a task which might be difficult, if not impossible.

Prejudice!?!?

Waves of optimism and pessimism might make a man disbelieve in time-tested principles but no matter what happens, he would never waver from his prejudiced thought process - Benjamin Graham

Prejudice - The word itself leads me to two different conclusions: One that this is the right way of looking and interpreting things and two, it is a wrong way of looking at things. Various words have originated out of this one base word of Prejudice - Feminism, Sexism, Racism, Religious intolerance etc. How do we actually define prejudice? Is it some judgement we come to by means of an experience in the past? Then, why would we call Experience as our Best teacher! Is prejudice something learnt in childhood or do we get prejudiced every day? Is manipulation by gross commercialists and politicians by way of slogans and advertisements contributing to our way of looking at things?

What does the dictionary have to say about the word 'prejudice'? Prejudice is defined as: An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts. Simply stated, it is a preconceived judgement, in a negative fashion. Going by the definition, is it right for me to say that various religious views thrust upon me since chldhood which have held the test of time prejudiced me the way I look at the world? This particular word, usually used to accuse someone else - saying, so and so was prejudiced against me. By uttering that mere statement, aren't you prejudicing your conclusion?

Lots of questions!! Further food for thought - People are prejudiced because they lack sufficient experience, is a common argument we hear. However my question is, how much experience do you need to satisfactorily say that his point of view is not prejudiced? If no amount of experience entitles a person to a point of view, then the word 'objectivity' loses its meaning and charm. Fallacious extensions of one's own experiences will lead to a horribly colored view of the scenario. We had had innumerable number of such examples - Anti-Semitism, Nazism, Racism to name a few, which have led to destruction of human life.

Taking the discussion a bit further, I take pride in the fact that the decisions I make or the suggestions I give to others are entirely objective - based on proper analytical facts, weighing pros and cons. But isn't the analysis itself flawed if the basis of my assumptions is itself prejudiced? Analytical that I am, I wanted to have an answer to this complex conundrum. The answer being - There is a continuum between decisions based on prejudice and decisions based on experience. Most of our decisions fall under this continuum - atleast that is what I think (prejudiced again?? ;))

Relationships - Conversations = NULL

There are two types of conversations - Memorable ones and the others. Memorable ones needn't necessarily be the ones in which you laughed your lungs out, they might also be the ones in which you cried, the ones in which you felt 'one' with the other person - essentially the ones which weren't bound by space nor time.

How often do we come across conversations like these? A brief conversation with a stranger, a conversation between long lost friends, conversations which gave you a new dimension about your thought process, silent conversations, violent conversations and so on and so forth - each one of them highly significant, each one a brick to build something. There are other conversations which counted little in terms of spoken matter, but counted a lot in terms of the value it built into a relationship. For that matter, how do wonderful relationships develop? Don't they develop by conversing from sweet nothings to profound thoughts all in the same breath? Doesn't a relationship base its foundations on some of the memorable conversations - on the phone, in a bus, during a walk, on the beach, on the Net or during lunch/dinner. Conversations interspersed between lots of talk and long moments of silence - silence which conveys infinitely more messages than lots of talk.

Some of my best conversations have happened at places least expected - On the ground (in my Engg days-some crisis as we would call it), in the middle of heavy traffic, at 3 in the morning while working on a paper, in an auto (where nothing was said and everything was communicated), on the beach (invariably philosophical), during the early hours of some event. There are infinitely many more - at various instances, at various places and various times. Each conversation - postive and negative - has been a brick into making the foundation stronger and its memories extremely fond.

Memories...

How often do you come across something accidentally, a book or a piece of paper you had totally forgotten about, a long lost friend whom you can recognise by face but can't recollect his/her name, a childhood photograph which you never really cared to have a serious look then or the little dress you had worn when you were born - and makes you totally happy no matter which situation/mood you are in!!

Two days back, something very similar happened to me. I was in the most irritable mood possible, a situation wherein I had no patience to deal with anything or anyone. I was just plain fussy, for reasons unknown. In such a desperate situation, I was looking for something in my suitcase and as usual, when you are looking for something desperately, it usually eludes you. However, accidentally, I did stumble across the scrap book of my MBA(nothing very flashy, a very small and a plain spiral pad) - filled in prominently by many of my seniors I admire and respect. The 'Lines for Me' section is the best of them all. One from my wing leader(he has been inspirational in everyway) said - 'Know Goal, Reach Goal'. A simple, four-worded statement, but then it hit me like a bullet considering the situation I was in. Another one said, 'Good, Better, Best - Never let it rest. Till the Good becomes Better and Better the Best'. A lovely line, striving for perfection all the time. Another one said ' Live and Let Live' - I should say, pretty good view of life ;). 'Be HONEST with...yourself atleast', 'Be the way you are, that will take you places' - some of them written in jest, some of them written with a heavy heart but all of them having a profound influence. I would be extremely delighted to get back to those days - but then as one of my senior wrote 'We meet to create memories, we part to cherish them'. A true ending to what was one of my best phases in my life - and back to the present, the irritable situation just vanished(as mysteriously as it had come about) by just reliving those memories!!

Play to Play OR Play to Win??

Interesting proposition! I was conversing with one of my friends yesterday and the conversation veered towards whether we have to Play to Play or Play to Win! This topic set me thinking for quite some time for the simple reason that it is contradictory and yet convincing.

To begin with, in any game, everyone is not a pro - each one of us has a learning phase and then you mature at how the game is played. To bring in the argument at this juncture, Playing to play the game - I believe, we will never learn. Only when you have the desire to win the game, however small the desire, only then something can be learnt. I did hear some of them say, 'I just play for playing sake'. Well, I don't believe it. If you are in the game, you are always trying to win it - that is when the adrenaline can flow, that is when you get the kind of excitement in learning the game. Playing to play will evoke no interest to participate in the game. I can say with my own personal experience, when I play to play - the result is often disastrous, losing is just the start - your opponent would lose any further interest to play with you.

Looking at the larger issue of life(as a game itself), I believe you need to play to win everyday. You win some, you lose some - but at the end of the day, you learn. Learning is the key to any aspect of life. When you play just to play everyday, you drift along in life, eventually getting monotonous. Life is a challenge, tackle it - the only way to do it is to be prepared all the time, to develop the instinct to win all the time. Life is a dream, realise it - dreams into reality will require courage and a willingness to challenge, action on it and win it.

However, there is one subtle issue to be looked at here. Not getting too philosophical, disappointment is bound to follow if after putting all the efforts you dont get to win. It is, but natural. But it depends on your character as to whether you allow the disappointment to get better of you or you take that disappointment as a stepping stone to a new level of learning and experience. Once again, when you play to play - there is bound to be little disappointment, and a lost chance of inculcating a new experience, a learning chance gone a begging.

Time and with it Confusion!!

People just don't seem to have the time for anything nowadays. They don't have time to spend with their family, friends, with their books, sleep nor work. One such case is an excuse of not finding enough time to BLOG. Wonder how? or rather why? Am amused that I don't even have time to answer that question.

The question remains - what do I do with my time? I have no idea. Maybe fulfill some of my needs - talking to people, trying to work and thereby earn some money and worse still, idle around. It's been kind of funny over the past month - tried to do many things in too short a time and ended up doing none. Or maybe I did, but not to my satisfaction!! Wonder why this question pops up time and again - Is time too short or is your need too insatiable??

I can already hear people reading this piece talk about managing your time well, how effectively would a planner work, books on managing time etc. Effectively what remains is whether you are spending your time in the way YOU want to or are you trying to fit in what people want YOU to do in the 24 hrs possible? Difficult question to answer - Needs and wants have to be satisfied through all the things people want YOU to do and We generally get under the false notion(or is it hope) that what they want US to do is what we actually want to do! Confusing - yeah, same here :-)

There are moments where time just seems to fly by and you have enjoyed every moment of it. I want those moments to repeat - maybe many times over, just because of the fact that I did what I wanted to do. There are other times where time drags on forever - reason, people want me to do it and I have no choice about it. People talk about doing what their heart tells them to do, and listen to noone - they say. 'You got to spend your time the way you want to all the time' is a common comment. Nice to hear, I say - but how many of us have the choice? Everyone has their own constraints, own beliefs and own ways of dealing with the world. Even to do what we want to do, we need to know what we want to do! How many of us really know what we actually want to do or what we are really capable of? I am not, I have certainly thought about it but could not arrive at any concrete answer. I am certainly not living the way I want to all the time - for the simple reason that my time moves like a sinusoidal wave, sometimes fleeting and sometimes dragging like a snail. I am confused (and am sure you are too :-) ). Any Answers??

People and their Opinions!?

I often wonder why am I not able to seperate people from their opinions? One of the more challenging tasks I face in discussions, meetings or interactions is to look at someone's opinion objectively. More often than not, we make a sweeping assumption that people are defined(and are represented) by their opinions and not otherwise. How do we keep the discussion restricted to issues on hand rather than dragging the personalities involved is a difficult task, deftly handled by a few.

The best debates(and often the most passionate ones) happen when two people can argue on one issue in diametrically opposite directions without any risk that personal equations might get affected. Let me take this issue in a more broader sense. In a team of four, if all the four tend to think alike, then that group is wasted. If people start thinking in different directions, that is when creative ideas sprout. Creative solutions to problems are often not without conflict with other's ideas but the ability to cope up with this conflict and build upon it.

We are all trying to arrive at creative solutions. But then why do we find getting to such a situation so difficult? The answer lies in the fact that we personalize an opinion rather than evaluating the merit of the opinion. We often tend to look at who is making an opinion rather than the opinion itself, and therein we miss the wood from the trees.

To achieve balance is very difficult - something I have to grapple with all the time. However I have come across people like S, H, P, C, O...with whom I can have exactly the type of conversation mentioned above and needless to say, these have been my most memorable discussions so far.

I will strive to the level where I can perfectly insulate the opinion or argument from the person...a typical case of shoot the message and not the messenger!! If this requires practice and reflection, so be it...will find time for it!!

Unpredictability and Epsilon

What is one thing that you fear the most? Most of us would answer - the future, in other words something unpredictable. How many of us are comfortable with the idea that there is a remote possibility that we would not be alive tomorrow or the guy/girl you marry wouldn't suit you or for that simple matter, we would not get tickets for a movie at a theater. Not many and I would even say that each one of us is trying to manage(should I say,mitigate) this unpredictability in some or the other way, everyday all the time.

Statistics has a word called noise/error factor given to it, and has ‘epsilon’ representing this factor. Any model can be created to explain various phenomena in life, but an epsilon is always tagged to it, just to say that there are certain things, which are unexplainable and cannot be captured by these models and this is precisely what I am getting at.

I see attempts being made by people to rationalize life, to explain everything, to put blame on luck or God, etc. Life cannot be explained. There are too many events, which just happen and have no correlation or association per se with our scheme of things. No astrology, not palmistry, not zodiac signs will help these. The maturity lies in accepting these things as being purely random and completely uncontrollable (in spite of my passion for ‘free will’ as a driver of decision making). The only way to control these is by learning to control our responses to these events, rather than by trying to control these events themselves.

Despite all the best efforts, not getting what you want could be the work of epsilon factor. The best response here is to control the response to such event and think about ways to diversify/reduce risk such epsilon factor can bring...unpredictability is uncontrollable but mitigation of it is!!

Moods!!

So very often, what we do or how we do a particular job depends on what mood we are in. More often than not, how we perform depends less on ability and more on the mood in which we are in. Some people have violent mood swings, while some have fleeting. But one feature that is common across humanity is mood and its swings.

How frequently have we come across people who act rude although they had no intention of being rude? Accidental rudeness happens alarmingly often (courtesy:Dumbledore), which brings us to the fact that people generally associate mood swings with negative qualities like anger, irritation, sulking etc. Have we ever done a reality check as to whether our mood swings can be associated with positive emotions like happiness, laughter etc; For what is a mood but a function of the perspective you see/feel a situation in!!

The most vivid example of 'mood behavior' affecting the economy is the Stock market, where it is essentially called 'Investor sentiment'. Although this sort of mood is non-distinguishable as it cannot be attributed to a particular person/entity, its 'Mood' decides as to who will be in a happy mood(made profits) and who will be sad(made losses). Marketing departments across companies work overtime to manipulate moods of people-good or bad to buy a product(and the moods cost them billions!!). The most important facet of moods is 'Boss Management', where the answer to what you ask depends less on 'what' you ask but entirely on 'when' aspect(and I am sure most of us faced it-whether its a boss in a company or a teacher in school).

Mood is a very important aspect of human behavior. There could be a difference in the degree but never the absence of it. People vacillate between extreme performances due to 'mood swings'. Hence Management by Moods, I feel is going to be as important and on par with other management theories like Management by Objectives, Management by Walking Around etc.

(For my regular readership, another important 'M' affecting everyone's lives :-))

The Power of Context...

I have reached the pinnacle of 'busyness'. No one asked me to start a blog. Having started it, it was only reasonable to expect regular posts. From the feeback I get, I realize that the readers have got tired, if not vexed, of visiting the site and finding the same old post for more than a month. While a long hiatus is unexplainable as well as unpardonable, I hope the readership will pardon this and excuse me this time.

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I was wondering about the power of context as well as perspective. Sultan of Brunei has his aeroplane fitted with lots of gold...How much do I care? However, if my neighbour purchases a new car, it begins to hurt me. Bill Gates riches don't inspire me for a better performance but if my colleague wins a lottery or gets a promotion...a sudden rush of blood question, 'why not me?' is asked.

People crave for particular things at various stages in life. During childhood, its winning a game; youth is about winning the hand of a particular guy/girl; a career is about a specific job profile and the list goes on and on. Coming to think of it, how does it matter? For example, consider a MBA grad looking for a consulting job...at present, this is the only job that he would ever consider. However, if that doesnt happen, will he brood about the same thing 10 years later?...I think not. His priorities will be to benchmark against the 'best guy' around and surpass him, which will engage his thoughts all the time, consulting being the least on his priorities.

Such is the power of context...a drastic terrorist activity a few years back seemed horrendous while it is commonplace now. Globalisation was opposed by the Chinese back in the '80s while they are the frontrunners at present. There was a time when people used to respect people who stood for morals. Nowadays, technical ineptitude is a greater sin than moral turpitude. The world was not the same before as it is now nor will it ever be the same again. The same holds good for people and their thoughts.

So how do we rule ourselves out of this 'context' and hence be unbiased. Distance gives perspective. It is very important to distance oneself from the context to be able to make the right decision. Another of the easier said than done types!!!

Vanity...!!!

Why does man relish vanity?? This question has been troubling me for sometime. A feeling of excessive pride in oneself, self-importance imposed on self and a craving to be recognised by one and all present around is something each one of us have percieved and felt too. I am surprised at situations where people work themselves to be the center of a conversation or an issue. Some people even go to the extent of holding back knowledge impressing(or is it depressing?)upon others implicitly that they are important, while others make it very explicit.

As a writer, I take pride in writing this article...is this vanity? How do you differentiate confidence and self-belief and vanity and excessive pride? Each one of us wants to be appreciated for the work we have done - however meagre or big. Does man really need appreciation from others to sustain himself and in case he doesnt get the expected, does he really have to go extents to boast about himself? How often have we come across people who put up an impression of a be-all and know-all? How often have we come across people who are self-centered and any conversation other than him/her is utter nonsense? How often have we come across people who can fake at will and convince you whatever they say is the truth? and How often have we come across people who actually make people listen how important they are and why we should strive to become like them, although that would be difficult!! Questions and questions galore, but each one of us know and can relate to each of these situations, as a culprit or as a victim.

Now to the question of why man thinks he is the center of the universe or rather the microcosm in which he is present? One reason is out of purely psychological reasons - low self-esteem. Although every other reason boils down to this, there might be a variety of experiences throughout a person's life which might have forced them to take this route. The other plausible reason might be that people take life too seriously and end up being self-centered and therefore the vanity factor comes in...although the reasons by themselves don't seem to convince the author.

How do we get out of this disease of vanity which seems to affect even the best of people? Humor might be one but then can everyone humor themselves? The other person might think that he is making a fool of himself...again the vanity cycle?!! Even people who think that they don't care what people think about them also come under this umbrella of vanity since they too want others to recognise them as people who think they don't care about others - got my point?? I am in need of some answers as urs truly too, at some point or other has been a victim of this deadly disease called Vanity.

Inspiration...

Is there anything called Inspiration and if yes,where do we draw inspiration from and from whom? Does inspiration really mean working harder which eventually would result in more perspiration or is there something more to it. Such a good word to use in every sphere of life - college, work or family. People overuse it or may I say misuse it to such an extent that it becomes such a cliched word that everyone is turned off by a mere mention of it.

To ascertain whether anything like Inspiration exists or do we tend to draw inspiration from others, it is necessary to define what inspiration is or means? Inspiration according to the Oxford Dictionary means three things -

1.arousal of the mind to special unusual activity or creativity
2.a product of your creative thinking and work;
3.a sudden intuition as part of solving a problem

According to the above, inspiration is related more to creativity and less concerning relating it to another person. If creativity is related to an individual entirely - as is usually believed , then why do we often associate inspiration to some person or a third entity? We have speakers who claim to inspire others, various mind management programmes to derive inspiration from, we tend to 'draw' inspiration from famous personalities - how many times do we hear statements like the above. How much of truth is contained in those statements needs to be enquired to bring the dilemma to a conclusion?

Man as a homosapien evolves over time. However, the process of evolution is exponential rather than linear - which does mean that there is some reason which makes him grow faster than usual in this chaotic world. A pillar of support he can rely on anytime, someone from whom he can learn ways of the world or someone who has already been successful at something. I for one, am inspired by people with knowledge - any knowledge powerhouse, one of my friends is inspired by songs of MLTR, another friend of mine is inspired by the books he reads - different people, different ways of getting inspired. Research has proved that when we do hear some 'Inspirational' talk, the effect is directly on the right side of the brain. No wonder many people get inspired but cannot explain the feeling of it - just like creativity and that is where the two ends meet.

All people in this world are inspired by someone or the other. Some people tell it out and some won't. However, in the process of continous improvement, every humanbeing is goaded by some or the other Inspirational factor or should I say Creative factor..??

Mobile lets me fly...

A couple of days earlier was the 10th anniversary of the foray of mobile communication in India which has been one bumpy and an extravagant ride. While one company converted its assets worth 25 crore to 9000 crore in the space of 10 years (Bharti Airtel), another company which was a pioneer in this field (in fact, this was the provider for the first mobile call in India between Jyoti Basu and the then Communications Minister...by the way, the company's name is Modi Telstra) was bought by some other. From a handful of users in 1995, we have grown to a user base of over 2 million and it is expected to touch 10 million by 2010 which will make us the 4th largest user base in the world.

We have made a big leap if we consider the following statistics. A bulky mobile phone cost Rs.52000 with an incoming charge of Rs. 8 and outgoing charge of Rs. 16, while we now have some of the sleek phones for as little as Rs.3000 with no incoming charge and an outgoing charge of Re. 1...It used to take around 2 weeks to get a landline connection, if not more while it takes only around a day or so to go mobile - and that explains the explosion in the consumer base.

Apart from the basic feature of conversing, mobile phones as such have evolved into facilitating transfer of messages, images, video recording, fm radio and an mp3 player all bundled together. Not to mention the furore over the MMS exchanged between thousands of people which created a lot of controversy but died without a whimper. A completely radical use was found in criminology. Mobile phones have also helped the crime authorities to track criminals by a process of triangulation. Without going too much into detail, it is a process wherein the coordinates of a person is tracked using the signal exchange between the phone and the mobile towers near it. Viruses have taken quite some time to jump into the bandwagaon while eavesdropping of mobile phones is much more technical than the ordinary landline and hence the security is leaps and bounds over the landline.

A new technology, which is set to revolutunise the way we interact with others is emerging in this field which is called 3G (Third Generation technology). The transfer rate as of now is 6-8 kbps while in 3G it is 2 Mbps. A quantum jump which would enable people to have video conferencing just like the multinational companies do it everyday.

An interesting scenario if I may say so, when we consider that the boom in the mobile communications industry coincided with the boom in consumer spending and the IT boom. Categories across consumer durables have witnessed a tremendous growth over the past 10 years and not very surprisingly, mobile phones seem to be the priority. Mobile phones have become another extension of our own personality day in and day out. People seem to enjoy the very fact that they don't use the same mobile phone for more that 15 days and change the ringtone every 3 days. The frightening growth in the usage of mobile communication has considerably brightened the lives of a hawker on the street to a CEO of a company. Euphoria is one small word which can be associated with the boom and I am proud to be a part of one in every way possible of the greatest revolutions of the millenium.

Expectations...

What's wrong with expectation? Mankind survives on this sole word of 'expectation'. We expect to be happy in the future (ignoring the present of course), we expect to earn a great deal of money, we expect to travel around the world and many many more. We not only expect something out of ourselves but expect something from others also. But most people forget that some others are also expecting something from them and I feel here is the weakest link for relationships.

Say, you(A) are close to someone(B) and you expect something out of them. But, they dont meet your expectation not once but many times over a period of time. Then, you lower your expectation and still 'B' doesnt meet yours. This cycle would continue till you end up with little expectation from 'B'. 'B' brags on and on with his/her own stories least bothered about what 'A' is feeling/thinking amd whats more, shrugs off whatever 'A' is saying. At this particular point of time, you(A) really feel that the relationship is not worth the time, effort and resources. Then there are other people in your life who go great lengths at making you happy, make you feel that you have been with them for years and yet you don't give the required credit. They are excited about meeting you, talking to you or for that matter, just spend some time with you and yet we tend to ignore.
The problem seems to be not with 'B' fundamentally, but with 'A'. 'A' has simply not allocated the right kind of effort towards the right kind of people.'B'is some other person who is interested in something else than 'A' seems to think...a classic case of misunderstanding the extent and depth of a relationship. Well, to say the least, when 'A' is not clear of his priorities, his relationships...does he really have the right to expect something out of somebody? Can't he just take a step back and look at the various relationships he has and allocate the right(let me say, optimum) effort to the right kind of people? Is 'A' looking only at part of the conversation and not the total (or the essence of) communication between him/herself and 'B' and jumping to some kind of conclusion about expectations and the outcomes or is it something else?

Haven't we all gone through this? We can place ourselves at places 'A' as well as 'B' because they are literally two sides of same coin. Can we just take a step back and look at everything else afresh again??

The Letter 'M'

The most powerful, influential and intriguing letter across all languages is the 12th letter of the Roman alphabet and the 13th letter of the English alphabet - the letter 'M' and my emphasis would be the words beginning with the letter 'M' and just a peek into its magnificient power.

To start with, all ancient civilizations - the oldest ones recorded were that of Mohenjadaro in India, Mesopotamia in the Middle East and Mayan in the Americas. Two of the most powerful dynasties to rule over India in the B.C as well as the A.D were the Mauryan and the Mughal dynasties.

Science has proved that Man evolved from Monkey. Mother is the sole purpose of how a Man exists. We all would like to be Models of perfection. While we had the Mahatma enchanting the masses down here in India, at about the same time, we had Mussolini machinating like a Machiavelli in Europe. While we had the greatest and perhaps the longest epic which enlightened mankind - Mahabharat, we had an equally oppressive 'Mein Kempf'.
While we had Mickey mouse entertaining people all around, we had Model T motorcar to depict what modernity can bring about. We had the beautiful Madhuri, have the sexy Mallika and erstwhile dream of every man - Marlyn Monroe.

The world today runs around Money. No wonder that two of the biggest brands in the world are McDonalds and Mont Blanc. We have advanced weapons in Machine guns and Missiles, again developed by Man due to excessive itch on his Medulla oblongata.

One of the greatest revolutions of the 20th century was Marxism, one of the greatest mysteries unsolved being the Mummy and one of the most mind-boggling roles in Movies being the role of Morpheus in Matrix. Think of controversy, and one of the greatest controversies involves Mary Magdalene. One of the most feared groups in today's world is the Mafia and the costliest drug available is Marijuana. Not to leave all us far behind is the Murphy's law which would remind us of the reality everytime we think of some mouthwatering prospect.

From the Macrocosm to Micro-organism, this letter influences everyday, every moment. From the Morning of our life to our Mourning, this letter is forever to stay with us and that my dear friends in summary is the magnificience of the letter.

P.S: Last but not the least, my HR Head's name is Mandeep Maitra (For God's sake, save me from this letter 'M').